Monday, July 25, 2011

Under the Moon

People love to flaunt their happiness about all sorts of things and often label their feelings as being "over the moon" in delight or in love. It's a nice feeling. I have been blessed with that feeling many times in my life as well; but I have also felt under the moon. I have felt so sad and defeated where I feel like there is no possible way I could ever leap over the moon at this moment because I am so exhausted or uninspired to go any distance. It's a debilitating emotion that takes over everything and secretes in tears, anger, disappointment, and emptiness.
I don’t know anyone who truly deserves to suffer this way; but sometimes I want one or two to feel it with me because I deem them responsible for the agony I mostly think they caused. There are days when we wear thin and holes develop. Between those holes our sorrows are released and the pressure of compacting is all too powerful. Controlling the burdened heart and head takes heroic might and class.
One day you are enthralled with the graciousness of life, and tomorrow brings anguish and second-guessing. The morning starts wonderfully, then you are reminded that not all is perfect and happy. You remember all the things no one sees, or can even believe, but you live them every single day. You pick up dirty socks and sticky dishes without a peep, and they never know you ever did it for them. Would a person even remember they left their ice cream bowl on the counter if it was picked up and washed for them? Your actions are silent and unnoticed. No one ever knows how many dishes are taken care off, socks picked up, vacuum strokes made; except you.
That is the unfortunate side effect of imperfection. Nothing is clear skies and rainbows everyday or euphoria every moment. This is the point of realization to garnish in your memory. People will hate you, ignore you, forget what you do, and like the greats of past, you may never earn the respect you deserve until you are gone away or gone forever.
Do not ever let anyone continue to make you feel this internal struggle or liquefy your emotions. Strength in its purest form, is the hidden courage you harbor. When standing up for yourself is detrimental or hurtful, the only better option is remaining quiet and indignant. The sun always sets again, the darkness is merely a phase of another's stupidity and immorality. Nothing you are responsible for. If you hang upside down, that frown looks like a beautiful smile.
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